IQ: One day after the death of Jerry Falwell, Christopher Hitchens and Ralph Reed joined Hannity & Colmes to discuss Falwell’s legacy. This is my favorite Hannity & Colmes segment. Enjoy the video on YouTube. There are two sections below. The first section contains a selection of snippets which have been edited to improve their readability. The second section contains the complete transcript, which includes the conversation’s many interruptions. Spoiler alert: You ought not miss Christopher’s closing remark.
IQ: Here are some fun snippets from the conversation.
Christopher Hitchens: Yeah well I’ve answered it; I’ve answered the question, now what’s the next one.
Christopher Hitchens: Ugh. Please.
Christopher Hitchens: Play the world’s smallest violin. Listen.
Sean Hannity: You think it’s a pity that there isn’ a hell for him to go to, you said.
Christopher Hitchens: Yes, I do.
Sean Hannity: I knew Reverend Falwell, Christopher. I know the good work that this man has done,—
Christopher Hitchens: Tell me about it.
Sean Hannity: I-I-I well-well he-he for-for unwed—
Christopher Hitchens: Takes a lot to make me cry.
Christopher Hitchens: I did not attack his family, and no fair-minded viewer of yours would say that.
Christopher Hitchens: I’m not going to be conscripted in to saying that it’s my job when you invite me on to discuss this man, first to say how sorry I am for him and his family; that isn’t what I feel. You no doubt as a Christian or what ever you are, require hypocrisy of people, I’m sorry you are asking the wrong person.
Sean Hannity: Well you give his opinion about, you know, you give the opinion about him, an’ I’m giving the opinion about you an’ the thoughtlessness of your remarks here, an’ the-the I’m really calling for any—
Christopher Hitchens: You’re going south allll the time.
Sean Hannity: —human decency that you may have in your pseudo-in’-in’ellectually superior mind of yours.
Alan Colmes: Uh we uh. We will uh take a break. More of the debate on this comin’ up in a moment, and later uh—
Christopher Hitchens: We ’aven’t had a debate yet.
Alan Colmes: —an unbelievable video of a toddler[…?]
Sean Hannity: We continue now our Republican strategist Ralph Reed and columnist an’ author Christopher Hitchens. Y’know Christopher I-I interviewed you a little bit about your book just a short time ago; eh-it made me think a lot. Jerry Falwell, because I do know him, he does a lot for-for people that are in trouble, gave a lot of scholarships to his school, he helped women that were.. pregnant an’ needed help he’d give them food and a place to live an’ an education, uh he did a lot to people that’re alcoholics an’ et cetera et cetera. You have your hostility towards religion, an’-an’-uh that’s-that’s without saying, you know, I just wonder, y’know when you compare his life, y’know there are a lot of good atheists, communists out there like Stalin and Mao and Pol Pot an’ y’know, they slaughtered millions, Jerry sl- Jerry Falwell slaughtered no body in his life, he may’ve misspoke once or twice, but he devoted his life to his religion d’you have nothing good to say about him at all?
Christopher Hitchens: No I-I repeat.. um Jerry Falwell lived on uh hatred and superstition and bigotry, he-he preached dislike of people whose lives he knew nothing about, he raised money from credulous fools, promising—
Sean Hannity: You don’know any thing about his life.
Christopher Hitchens: Now excuse me sir, you can either ask me on an’ve-’ve.. an’ ask my opinion or you may not, but I don’t have to be here if you’re gonna take that attitude.
Sean Hannity: O’you could leave.
Christopher Hitchens: You spent the first half by saying I have no right to the opinion you’d asked me on to express, now you’re tiring me out. I repeat though—
Sean Hannity: No, what I said is that your opinion was thoughtless; what you wrote was crude, and mean, and hateful. That’s what I said.
Christopher Hitchens: You took, you took up all the time for my answer with your long, rather unlettered question.
Sean Hannity: Oh, okay, ohh—
Christopher Hitchens: Jerry Falwell made a made a career out of sponsoring dislike and superstition, said that people he didn’t like were going to hell, said the United States deserved to be attacked by Islamic fascists, said he believed that people would be raptured into heaven, leaving all the rest of us to wallow.. behind. I-I think his.. death is a.. is a deliverance, an’ if you say that some one who occasionally makes a charitable donation is a good person, then you have to say that Hamas and Hezbollah who do all this charitable giving and charitable organizing a’-are the same.
Christopher Hitchens: An’ why not, an’ why not, an’ why not a word now from the friend of Jack Abramoff to give it, to give a kosher stamp to religious fraud. That’s all it needs now, let’s hear from the Abramoff faction, an other lot of religious rip-off artists. You should be ashamed of your selves.
Alan Colmes: Uh, Ralph. Hold on, hold on Christopher. Ralph, the big d’controversy about Falwell was he fused religion and politics, and that’s what people will be debating I guess going forward. And after he said he would not do such a thing, would Jesus have advocated the Gee-O-Pee an’ was he right to bring in—
Christopher Hitchens: Ugh. What a question.
Alan Colmes: —and marry those two and give that impression?
Christopher Hitchens: Ha ha!
Ralph Reed: Well I-I don’ think that’s ever what Doctor Falwell said; what he said—
Christopher Hitchens: Doctor Falwell..
Christopher Hitchens: Tell it to Jack Abramoff. Tell it to Jack Abramoff. Tell it to your business partner.
Ralph Reed: Good try Christopher. Good try.
Christopher Hitchens: Tell it to your religious racketeer friends.
Sean Hannity: Reverend Falwell was a personal friend of mine, and I’ll miss him.
Christopher Hitchens: If you gave Falwell an enema he could be buried in a match box.
Sean Hannity: When we come back a toddler gets too close to a dancing performance in Times Square.
IQ: Here’s the full transcript.
Alan Colmes: The controversial televangelist was a polarizing figure, emboldening conservative Christians while alienating many liberals but there’s no question about the impacting legacy Falwell leaves behind. Joining us now is Republican strategist Ralph Reed, and author of God Is Not Great, columnist Christopher Hitchens, who made news last night with his harsh critique of the reverend. Christopher so let me start with you here and talk about uh the things you’ve said, which, obviously we know where you stand on religion, we know wuh-where you stand on Reverend Falwell. By being so.. angry.. a’-about what his legacy was, and is, are you not hurting his family and others who may have no dog in that hunt, but who would just like a few moments to.. celebrate his life and have some peace?
Christopher Hitchens: Wellll I don’t care whether his family’s feelings are hurt or not uh but if they are, they can take comfort from the extraord’nary piety and stupidity, and gen’rally speaking uniformity of the coverage of the man’s death. It is after all said, uh, was said by the supposed Jesus of Nazareth to his followers that they must expect to be mocked for their beliefs, because their beliefs will appear to many people to be ridiculous, if not uh worse than that, and that they are to uh take it for granted that they will be ridiculed. Um. That’s true of I think of the most devout and serious uh and thoughtful Christian, but for a vulgar fraud and crook like the Reverend Falwell it’s-it’s an obligation to say what one thinks about him or.. be left off the air, and have people like your selves broadcasting.. only.. piety, and that won’t do.
Alan Colmes: Well, what ever I’m not broadcasting only piety; I had you on my radio show and now we’re having you on here to talk about your view—
Christopher Hitchens: Yeah but now you’re—
Alan Colmes: —very different than what else the media’s saying.
Christopher Hitchens: Yes you’re having me on and then, you’re having me on and then arguing that maybe it’s bad taste to have me on; I don’t think that’s very hospitable.
Alan Colmes: Well I thought it was a legitimate question because I think people are wondering—
Christopher Hitchens: Yeah well I’ve answered it; I’ve answered the question,—
Alan Colmes: You have,—
Christopher Hitchens: —now what’s the next one.
Alan Colmes: —an’ I will now move on to uh Ralph Reed now that you’ve answered that question.
Christopher Hitchens: Good.
Alan Colmes: Ralph, does Christopher Hitchens.. have a point? It is a free speech issue; he was a polarizing figure, Reverend Falwell was, and there are many people.. maybe not all of them feeling as strongly as Christopher Hitchens, but who feel that Reverend Falwell was indeed a polarizing figure who said things that offended.. many Americans.
Ralph Reed: Well, y-you know look, any-any time Alan that you are a agent of change the way Doctor Falwell was who had the kind of impact that he had on American religion, on our culture and on our politics, uh he was one of the most impor’ant historical figures of the last fifty years in each of those areas; uh ending the self-imposed exile of e-vangelicals from civic and cultural engagement, an’ I think transforming them uh in to one of the most import’nt and vibrant an’ energetic constituencies in the entire electorate; no one does that, liberal or conservative, Republican, Democrat, of any faith—
Sean Hannity: Well.
Ralph Reed: —eh-an’ not stir controversy. But I-I-I, it-it’s just my belief as an American, not as a conservative, um not as some body of any particular denominational background or faith, but just as an American—
Sean Hannity: Hey.
Ralph Reed: —in terms of elevating our the-the civility of our discourse that when some body dies, that we ought to show a measure of respect and appreciation uh for their family and for their loved ones and for those who are grieving right now an’ our thoughts and prayers oughta be with them regardless of whether we—
Christopher: Ugh.
Ralph Reed: —agree with Doctor Falwell or not.
Sean Hannity: Hey uh, eh—
Christopher: Please.
Sean Hannity: —Christ’-Chr’-Christopher Hitchens let uh l’—
Christopher Hitchens: Oh come on, the world’s—
Sean Hannity: —h-hey Christopher—
Christopher Hitchens: Play the world’s smallest violin. Listen. He established a business.. a racket in my opinion. Um he was a religious businessman in the same way as Mister Ralph Reed is a religious entrepreneur. He’s left the business to his children; uh it’s a hered’tary job. Let that console them. You can’t have me on and say that I have to say I’m terribly sorry he’s dead.
Sean Hannity: ’ey-’ey Christopher—
Christopher Hitchens: One reason you can’t ask me to do that is because I am not; I think we have.. we have been r-rid of an extremely dangerous demagogue who lived by hatred of others, and prejudice, and who, and who committed treason by saying that the United States deserved the attack upon it.. and its civil society—
Sean Hannity: Hey-’ey Christopher—
Christopher Hitchens: —in September two thousand—
Sean Hannity: —l’-lemme jump in.
Christopher Hitchens: —an’ one by other, by other religious nut cases like himself.
Sean Hannity: He profoundly, he profoundly and repeatedly apologized an’ I-I’m sure you’re perfect...
Christopher Hitchens: Not enough. No he didn’, not enough.
Sean Hannity: I’m sure you’re perfect in your life and that you’ve never made any mistakes, but let’s...
Christopher Hitchens: I’ve never, I’ve never committed treason like that. I don’t believe in the sincerity of his apology—
Sean Hannity: Well let’s look at, let’s look at y’the thoughlessness and the meanspiritedness of your very remarks that you’ve made about Reverend Falwell.
Christopher Hitchens: By all means.
Sean Hannity: You think it’s a pity that there isn’ a hell for him to go to, you said.
Christopher Hitchens: Yes, I do.
Sean Hannity: On his death you write The discovery of the carcass of Reverend Falwell on the floor of his obscure office is.. in almost zero significance except for perhaps two gah-categories of-of people et cetera.
Christopher Hitchens: Well put I think.
Sean Hannity: You also you also say the evil he did will live after him.
Christopher Hitchens: Yes.
Sean Hannity: I knew Reverend Falwell, Christopher. I know the good work that this man has done,—
Christopher Hitchens: Tell me about it.
Sean Hannity: I-I-I well-well he-he for-for unwed—
Christopher Hitchens: Takes a lot to make me cry.
Sean Hannity: Would you like, would you l’.. I know you think you’re the smartest guy in the room but you soun’ like a jackass when you attack his family like this, but I know the—
Christopher Hitchens: I didn’ attack his family, I said I don’t, I—
Sean Hannity: —I know what he did for unwed mothers,—
Christopher Hitchens: I did not. Excuse me.
Sean Hannity: —I know what he did for alcoholics,—
Christopher Hitchens: I did not. Excuse me.
Sean Hannity: —I know what he did for drug addicts,—
Christopher Hitchens: I did not attack. Excuse me sir.
Sean Hannity: Yeah?.
Christopher Hitchens: I did not attack his family, and no fair-minded viewer of yours would say that.
Sean Hannity: Oh I’m su’—
Christopher Hitchens: I’m not going to be conscripted in to saying that it’s my job when you invite me on to discuss this man, first to say how sorry I am for him and his family; that isn’t what I feel. You no doubt as a Christian or what ever you are, require hypocrisy of people, I’m sorry you are asking the wrong person.
Sean Hannity: I’m not asking for a com’ I-I’m no, but I am asking for human decency an’ if you don’t think it has an impact on his family to use even the ph’-wor’-phrases tonight that he’s vulgar, fraud, and a crook, and then to say that—
Christopher Hitchens: Am I supposed to conceal—
Sean Hannity: —the discovery of his—
Christopher Hitchens: Am I supposed to conceal my—
Sean Hannity: —his carcass.
Christopher Hitchens: You asked me on—
Sean Hannity: I think you are incredibly mean,—
Christopher Hitchens: —You invited me to give—
Sean Hannity: —incredibly selfish,—
Christopher Hitchens: You invited me—
Sean Hannity: —and incredibly thoughtless.
Christopher Hitchens: You invited me, sir,—
Sean Hannity: I invited you, sir.
Christopher Hitchens: —to give my opinion of the departed. I give it to you, an’ you say Will that might then not upset his family. I said it while he was alive;—
Sean Hannity: Well you give his opinion about,—
Christopher Hitchens: —might that not’ve upset his family too.
Alan Colmes: Now we’re gonno uh—
Sean Hannity: —you know, you give the opinion—
Christopher Hitchens: This is a tomfoolery on your part.
Sean Hannity: —about him, an’ I’m giving the opinion about you an’ the thoughtlessness of your remarks here, an’ the-the I’m—
Alan Colmes: Uh we uh.
Sean Hannity: —really calling for any—
Christopher Hitchens: You’re going south allll the time.
Sean Hannity: —human decency that you may have in your pseudo-in’-in’ellectually—
Alan Colmes: We will uh—
Sean Hannity: —superior mind of yours.
Alan Colmes: —take a break. More of the debate on this comin’ up in a moment, and later uh—
Christopher Hitchens: We ’aven’t had a debate yet.
Alan Colmes: —an unbelievable video of a toddler[…?]
Commercials: [Regionally specific and better-forgotten blah blah blah, we can imagine.]
Sean Hannity: We continue now our Republican strategist Ralph Reed and columnist an’ author Christopher Hitchens. Y’know Christopher I-I interviewed you a little bit about your book just a short time ago; eh-it made me think a lot. Jerry Falwell, because I do know him, he does a lot for-for people that are in trouble, gave a lot of scholarships to his school, he helped women that were.. pregnant an’ needed help he’d give them food and a place to live an’ an education, uh he did a lot to people that’re alcoholics an’ et cetera et cetera. You have your hostility towards religion, an’-an’-uh that’s-that’s without saying, you know, I just wonder, y’know when you compare his life, y’know there are a lot of good atheists, communists out there like Stalin and Mao and Pol Pot an’ y’know, they slaughtered millions, Jerry sl- Jerry Falwell slaughtered no body in his life, he may’ve misspoke once or twice, but he devoted his life to his religion d’you have nothing good to say about him at all?
Christopher Hitchens: No I-I repeat.. um Jerry Falwell lived on uh hatred and superstition and bigotry, he-he preached dislike of people whose lives he knew nothing about, he raised money from credulous fools, promising—
Sean Hannity: You don’know any thing about his life.
Christopher Hitchens: Now excuse me sir, you can either ask me on an’ve-’ve.. an’ ask my opinion or you may not, but I don’t have to be here if you’re gonna take that attitude.
Sean Hannity: O’you could leave.
Christopher Hitchens: You spent the first half by saying I have no right to the opinion you’d asked me on to express, now you’re tiring me out. I repeat though—
Sean Hannity: No, what I said is that your opinion was thoughtless; what you wrote was crude, and mean, and hateful. That’s what I said.
Christopher Hitchens: You took, you took up all the time for my answer with your long, rather unlettered question.
Sean Hannity: Oh, okay, ohh—
Christopher Hitchens: Jerry Falwell made a made a career out of sponsoring dislike and superstition, said that people he didn’t like were going to hell, said the United States deserved to be attacked by Islamic fascists, said he believed that people would be raptured into heaven, leaving all the rest of us to wallow.. behind. I-I think his.. death is a.. is a deliverance, an’ if you say that some one who—
Ralph Reed: Shh.. Sean...
Christopher Hitchens: —occasionally makes a charitable donation is a good person, then you have to say that Hamas and Hezbollah—
Sean Hannity: How d’, how—
Christopher Hitchens: —who do all this charitable giving and charitable organizing a’-are the same.
Sean Hannity: How dare he practice religion in a country that celebrates it Ralph Reed?
Ralph Reed: Sean. Sean. Y-y’know, look, I-I just—
Christopher Hitchens: An’ why not, an’ why not, an’ why not a word now from the friend of Jack Abramoff to give it,—
Alan Colmes: Alright we only have a moment Ralph, here’s an important question about—
Christopher Hitchens: —to give a kosher stamp to religious fraud.
Alan Colmes: Well lemme get Ralph in here. Here’s an important question about Jerry Falwell. Ralph,—
Christopher Hitchens: That’s all it needs now, let’s hear from the Abramoff faction,—
Alan Colmes: We o’ly, we o’ly have a moment left; Ralph gets to speak too.
Christopher Hitchens: —an other lot of religious rip-off artists. You should be ashamed of your selves.
Alan Colmes: Uh, Ralph. Hold on, hold on Christopher. Ralph, the big d’controversy about Falwell was he fused religion and politics, and that’s what—
Ralph Reed: Right..
Alan Colmes: —people will be debating I guess going forward. And after he said he would not do such a thing, would Jesus have advocated the Gee-O-Pee an’ was he right to bring in—
Christopher Hitchens: Ugh. What a question.
Alan Colmes: —and marry those two and give that impression?
Christopher Hitchens: Ha ha!
Alan Colmes: We only have a very short time left Ralph.
Ralph Reed: Well I-I don’ think that’s ever what Doctor Falwell said; what he said—
Christopher Hitchens: Doctor Falwell..
Ralph Reed: —was that there were certain transcendent values, such as the protection of innocent ’u’-human life, the sanctity of marriage, uh the need to defend the state of Israel, his opposition to Communism, his opposition—
Christopher Hitchens: Nope, the need to defend the Israeli occupation.
Ralph Reed: —to radical uh Jihadism, and what he believed was that those values should be reflected in public policy. An’ I think that y’know when you have a community of Liberty University with its ten thousand students in residence, y’have twenty-two thousand menbers of his church, y’have millions of others of people who looked up to ’im an’ admired him,—
Sean Hannity: We gotta run.
Ralph Reed: —I-I would really hope that people like Christopher would show the decency an’ respect to let those people mourn—
Christopher Hitchens: Tell it to Jack Abramoff.
Ralph Reed: —an’ remember his memory—
Christopher Hitchens: Tell it to Jack Abramoff.
Ralph Reed: —without it being torn down an’ attacked.
Sean Hannity: We gotta run.
Christopher Hitchens: Tell it to your business partner.
Ralph Reed: Good try Christopher. Good try.
Sean Hannity: Reverend Falwell was a—
Christopher Hitchens: Tell it to your religious racketeer friends.
Sean Hannity: —personal friend of mine, and I’ll miss him. When we come back—
Christopher Hitchens: If you gave Falwell an enema he could be buried in a match box.
Sean Hannity: —a toddler gets too close to a dancing performance in Times Square.
IQ: Inferior quotations can be read at foxnews.com.
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