Inferior Quotations

Silvy Balser: Somethinng stiinks.

Liz Balser: Look.!

Silvy Balser: You bloody well better clean that up before Daddy gets home!.

Jonathan Balser: Hi girrls.

Silvy Balser: Lulu was a very bad dog today.

Liz Balser: Lulu made a mess on the rug.

Silvy Balser: Right there, see, you can still see an’ it smelled awful.

Jonathan Balser: Do you realize that that rug will have to be sent out t’ the cleaners all over again.

Tina Balser: Good evening Jonathan.

Jonathan Balser: Myyy this is a delicious dinner Tin’. Isn’ this just scrumptious girrls. This wine is called Romanée-Saint-Vivant. Can you say that.

Tina and Silvy Balser: Romanée-Saint-Vivant.

Jonathan Balser: Good. You must learn so when you grow up you’ll know all about wines. No reason why women shouldn’know as much as menn. Expensive for a nineteen sixty-four. Expensive but not.. smug. Know what I mean?.

Liz Balser: This stuffing taste different.

Silvy Balser: Why didn’ you make the old kind of stuffing we love.

Tina Balser: Daddy specifically asked for something different this year. Didn’t ya Jonathan.

Jonathan Balser: I did.! And I’m glad I did.! It’s great.! Su-perduper.! I always said you had the makings of a superb cook.

Silvy Balser: Wha’s in the stuffing, the scwagglwy things.

Tina Balser: Please don’t talk with your mouth full Silvy. Oysters.

Silvy Balser: Puh! Pfft! Ughkuh.

Jonathan Balser: Silvy!

Silvy Balser: Kuh.

Jonathan Balser: Silvy!

Silvy Balser: Uhkuh! pf, pf.

Jonathan Balser: Wha’do you mean by doing such a disgusting thing??

Silvy Balser: Pff.

Jonathan Balser: Silvy I am talking to you.! What was the meaning of that outrage!?

Silvy Balser: Oysters they make me sick!

Tina Balser: You an’ Liz jus’ love oysters.

Silvy Balser: On the half shell with cocktail sauce, not in a bloody turkey for god sake!

IQ: oh my gosh this is the best performance ive ever seen

Jonathan Balser: Silvy you will apologize to your mother this instant! and then you will eat this delicious dinner that she has worked so hard to cook.

Silvy Balser: It isn’ delicious it’s awful, mooshy chestnuts, onion an’ celery an’ cream, even the salad isn’ normal, oranges an’ cut-up plants!

Jonathan Balser: You go straight to your room.

Silvy Balser: I’m happy to go to my room!

Jonathan Balser: I feel rather peculiar.